NARRATOR: Ah, the Krusty Krab,
home of the Krabby Patty, with its top secret formula
known only to those brave enough and intelligent enough
to comprehend its culinary complexity.
Look, Mr. Krabs, I'm doing it, l'm doing it!
KRABS: Quit fooling around, SpongeBob, we've got customers.
NARRATOR: But wherever there is a secret recipe,
there is someone who wants to steal it.
( laughing evilly )
( thud )
Ouch!
( in electronic voice ): And now for the final touch.
Perfect!
With this disguise
that formula is as good as mine.
( laughing )
( clears throat )
Are you SpongeBob SquarePants?
Why, yes...
yes, I am.
Then you've just won $1 million.
( gasps )
You just have to answer one question.
What is the Krabby Patty secret formula?
( inhales )
Yes.
( inhales )
Yes!
( inhales )
Yes!
The Krabby patty formula
is the sole property of the Krusty Krab
and is only to be discussed, in part or in whole,
with its creator Mr. Krabs.
Duplication of this formula is punishable by law.
Restrictions apply, results may vary.
( railroad crossing bells ringing )
( screams )
That's it!
You'd better cough up that secret formula or else!
Plankton!
Krabs!
Plankton!
Krabs!
SpongeBob.
You can't do this to me, Krabs.
( inhales )
I went to college!
Ouch!
That Plankton is a clever beast.
You've got to keep a sharp eye out for him, SpongeBob.
The Krabby Patty law must be enforced.
The future of the Krusty Krab depends on it.
Don't worry, Mr. Krabs.
As long as these pants are square
and this sponge is bob...
I will not let you down!
Uh, SpongeBob...
could you let me down?
PATRON: Man, these patties sure are delicious.
I wonder what's in that secret formula?
( siren buzzes )
Code 12! code 12!
Your disguises can't fool me this time, Plankton.
( pop )
( patrons gasp )
Everyone at the Head Enhancement Clinic
said nobody would notice.
( sobs )
KRABS: SpongeBob!
You're scaring away me money.
Sorry, Mr. Krabs, I'm just trying
to protect the secret formula.
That's no reason to rip people's heads off, boy.
Just remember the most important rule.
No free napkins?
No! The other most important rule...
regarding the secret formula.
Only discuss the secret recipe with Mr. Krabs.
As long as you do that, the secret is safe.
l always thought the most important rule was,
"Why do today what you can put off till tomorrow?"
( laughs )
What is today but yesterday's tomorrow?
Huh?
Today, I want you to take inventory
on everything in here;
every last pickle and patty must be accounted for.
Aye, aye, captain.
( electronic whirring )
Two boxes of buns.
Three pounds of patties.
( in mechanical voice ): Mr. Squidward.
What now, Mr. Krabs?
That's right, I am Krabs...
your boss, your ruler
your master.
( laughs evilly )
Ha, ha, ha.
( exhaust coughs )
You're not Mr. Krabs.
Hey, why don't you take the rest of the day off?
( chuckling ): Well...
whatever you say, "Mr. Krabs."
( laughing )
Whoopee!
Hi, Mr. Krabs.
Oh, sweet domination.
This is it!
No sign of Plankton yet.
Gosh, Mr. Krabs, you don't look so good.
Ooh, you're so cold.
( hollow, metallic thumping )
That's just my metal suit.
I made it to protect the formula.
KRABS: SpongeBob.
( echoing ): SpongeBob!
It's that thick-headed Krabs.
He'll ruin everything.
Look, a jellyfish.
I got it, I got it.
( buzzes )
I got it, I got it.
SpongeBob!
Hey, Mr. Krabs, what happened
to your metal pants?
Don't go all loopy on me, boy.
I need your help.
And where in the high seas is Squidward?
You gave him the day off.
Day...
( bellows )
I don't know the meaning of them horrible words!
Now quit your laying around, SpongeBob,
and take out that garbage.
It's starting to give me a rash.
Yes, sir, Mr. Krabs, sir.
Hey, Mr. Krabs, just taking out that garbage.
Never mind that... I need to talk to you.
( beams zinging )
Whoa-ho, Mr. Krabs.
l didn't know you had heat vision.
Never mind, I need you to tell me...
KRABS: SpongeBob!
Yike!
SpongeBob! I'm not paying you
to stand around.
Get back to the kitchen.
But I thought you wanted to ask me a question.
Yes... why aren't you working harder?
( hesitantly ): I don't know, Mr. Krabs...
I don't know.
I'll never get that formula
with that pest, Krabs, popping in and out like that.
I've got it!
I've been saving this for a rainy day.
lt looks like an ordinary penny...
because it is an ordinary penny.
That fool Krabs is too greedy to ignore you, my little pretty.
( laughing )
That sound, it sounds like...
the pitter-patter of...
money!
( squeals )
Hey, where you going, beautiful?
Mr. Krabs.
Wha...
( crash )
Stop!
KRABS: Please!
Wait!
Nothing stands between me and that secret formula now.
( mechanical laughter )
( thud )
Ouch!
♪ Scrubba-dub-dub, l love to rub. ♪
Hey, Mr. Krabs, just doing a little scrubbing.
Hello, SpongeBob, it is me, Mr. Krabs...
( exhaust coughs )
in the flesh
standing right in front of you
with no one else around.
I can see that, Mr. Krabs.
I thought we might discuss the Krabby Patty secret formula.
Isn't that a microphone?
What?
Why, yes, it is.
I must get this shirt cleaned.
All right, now tell me the secret formula.
But, sir, we haven't done the secret handshake yet.
Oh, yes, here, let's shake.
( giggles )
We don't shake with our hands, remember?
Uh, right, why don't you start.
We stand on one foot...
balance a glass of chocolate milk on our heads
and sing the Bikini Bottom national anthem.
BOTH: ♪ Oh, Bikini Bottom ♪
♪ We pledge our hearts to you ♪
♪ As faithful, as deep, as true, as blue ♪
♪ Bikini Bottom, we love you. ♪
Formula time?
Almost.
( grunting frantically )
( explosion )
Yum, yum, this spaghetti sure is good.
Belch.
BOTH: Meatball, meatball, spaghetti underneath!
Ravioli, ravioli, Great Barrier Reef!
( clap )
Okay, now let's hear that formula.
Sorry, no can do, Mr. Krabs.
Wha-a-a-a-t?
But we did everything you said.
I followed all the rules.
I even ate 105 black licorice jelly beans through a straw.
Now, why can't you tell me the formula?
It's your rule...
never speak the formula.
You told me to keep it in...
this bottle.
( bell dings )
This is it, Plankton.
Gently, now.
( laughing mechanically )
( gasps )
Gasp!
How could you do this, SpongeBob?
Giving me secret formula to this... impostor?
Don't listen to him, SpongeBob.
Remember... ravioli, ravioli, give me the formuoli.
SpongeBob, no, don't listen to him.
I'm the real Mr. Krabs.
Don't listen to him, he's obviously a robot.
( exhaust coughs )
Well, if I was a robot, which I'm not,
at least I'm well put together,
not some rusted-out, steam-driven pile of junk.
Who you calling "steam-driven"?
SPONGEBOB ( screaming ): Quiet!
Until I know who the real Mr. Krabs is, nobody moves,
nobody gets hurt.
BOTH: Tartar sauce?!
Take it easy with that thing.
( screams )
I'll do the talking around here.
I think I'll just ask you two a couple of questions;
questions only the real Mr. Krabs could answer.
Okay, then.
First question: What time does the Krusty Krab open?
9:30 a.m.
Right.
That's one strike, "Mr. Fake."
But...
Duh-duh, I'm running this quiz show
I'll ask the questions.
lf there's going to be any "buts,"
they're going to be from me.
Okay, question number two:
How much does a Krabby Patty cost?
$2.99.
On Wednesday.
99 cents.
Right again.
You're starting to look pretty phony
right about now.
I'd be nervous if I were you.
Now, only the really real Mr. Krabs can answer this:
If we're discussing the secret formula
on the third Wednesday in January,
and it's not raining outside
after we gargle with vanilla pudding, what do we do?
That's an easy one.
You just... just... Let's see, if it's a...
If it's January with...
with vanilla pudding, you... uh...
Pass.
( grunts )
Wait!
SpongeBob!
Give me another chance.
So long, Imitation Krabs.
Bye-bye.
I knew it was you all along, Mr. Krabs.
Here you go.
Thank you, Sponge-Dupe.
( mechanical laughter )
Don't forget your lucky penny.
( laughter continues )
Yoicks.
This must be your lucky day.
( laughs )
COMPUTER VOICE: The self-destruct coin slot has been activated.
Ten seconds till detonation.
"Coin-operated self-destruct"?
Not one of my better ideas.
( screaming ): Help!!
( massive explosion )
( thud )
PLANKTON: Ouch.
If that was Plankton...
Uh-oh.
KRABS: Help...
Yah, Mr. Krabs!
Ooh, yum, yum.
Back, you hungry hand, back.
Help!
Gee, Mr. Krabs, I'm sorry.
I thought you were a phony.
Hoo, that's okay, me lad.
Long as the secret formula's safe again.
However, that penny's coming out of your paycheck.
( both laughing )
SPONGEBOB: Really?